Kissing Frogs

I previously put down all the qualities I want in a man. The things I thought were important. I have heard it said that having such a list magically attracts THAT very kind of man that you want. An acquaintance who had a similar list had listed down the minutest details, and she met THE man, who answered the very description. The catch? He was married. Single was not one of the attributes she had on her list. I wonder if that is the same thing that has happened to me. I met a guy who seemed to have most of the qualities on my must have list, if not all, and most of what's on the nice to have list. I have known him for 12 weeks now. I know for sure that he is not the one. Reason? He does not have alpha maleness about him. By this I mean he does not exude the air of a sure-footed, proud man...one who is the director of his life, and will be a companion and the wise and undisputed head of the family that we shall have. It has struck me that this quality is not on my list at all. My ...

I am heel. I am a heel. I am a heel. I quietly ignored all the calls and messages of the good Ronald. He eventually got the message. Coward coward coward.

  Image by abhinav.s via Flickr This is the part I hate about kissing multiple frogs - at some point, one of them, no a number of them, will need to be let down. I met Ronald at a seminar I attended recently. Very nice guy, friendly, considerate, always ready to lend a helping hand, in short, on his way to sainthood. Whenever we got put into teams to get some work done I engineered it so that he could be on my team because of his attitude and because of how much weight he pulled. On the last day of the seminar, as he walked in I said to him “I was really glad to see you walk in, and that must be because I like you very much.” “Now that’s a very good thing for the feeling is mutual,” he said. A few days after the seminar, Ronald invited most of the members of the seminar out for a drink at a hip new pub on Electric Avenue (not its real name but so-called for the level of nightlife on it). We were on the way to becoming friends. I thought him nice and easy t...

”We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness’.” Susan Sarandon in the movie "Shall We Dance" So why do I want a partner? What do I miss about being in a relationship? Togetherness... Holding hands Someone to share my thoughts with Someone to be companionably silent with Someone to nap with on Saturday afternoon Whilst he watches soccer, I lean against him reading a book, and only occasionally looking up when there's a goal or the possibility of a goal Spooning. This, I think, I miss the most. Spooning in the night, and spooning early morning. Spooning late into the morning on w...

It is Thursday around noon and I'm sitting in the dining room by the window reading a book. I look up out of the window and see a perfect 6 foot 2 inches male form in a pair of navy shorts and white fitting T-shirt walking towards our gate. Well-toned body, broad chest and shoulders...I take in the suggestion of a firm six-pack beneath the slim T-shirt, which tapers down to a small waist. Greatest legs I ever saw on a man, Greek god-like, taking long, effortless strides…head tilted slightly to the right. And he's walking towards our gate. It is Richard. And he's coming to see me. It has been 7 months of 'being together' and I still can't believe that this magnificent piece of work comes by to see me, spends time with me, plays hooky from college in order to come be with me! He should be in class at the moment. As usual I'll make a half-hearted attempt at being disapproving that he's cutting class, but the smile that greets me when I open the door...

So now that I'm looking...what does Prince Charming look like?  What is he like?  Let's see... He is 6 foot 3 inches, fit and dark. He is a true alpha male - aggressive go-getter, natural leader, successful at what he does, strong character, protector, provider etc.  However, he has another side, especially for me, he's sensitive, kind, caring and lets me have my way.  He's also responsible, honest and hardworking, pays attention to me, is there when I want him by my side, and goes away when I need time on my own. I want a man who takes care of what needs taking care of...takes care of me, a me-Tarzan-you-Jane kind of man, and who, at the same time, allows me to be Miss Independent when I want to be one. I have a theory on compatibility.  My theory is that one reason people go wrong as far as finding partners go is that they don't know what they want - what they must have, what they can't live with.  Sometimes a guy fulfills 7 o...