Being a heel


 Image by abhinav.s via Flickr

This is the part I hate about kissing multiple frogs - at some point, one of them, no a number of them, will need to be let down.

I met Ronald at a seminar I attended recently. Very nice guy, friendly, considerate, always ready to lend a helping hand, in short, on his way to sainthood. Whenever we got put into teams to get some work done I engineered it so that he could be on my team because of his attitude and because of how much weight he pulled.



On the last day of the seminar, as he walked in I said to him “I was really glad to see you walk in, and that must be because I like you very much.”


“Now that’s a very good thing for the feeling is mutual,” he said.


A few days after the seminar, Ronald invited most of the members of the seminar out for a drink at a hip new pub on Electric Avenue (not its real name but so-called for the level of nightlife on it). We were on the way to becoming friends. I thought him nice and easy to be with.


Shortly afterwards he began to ask me out to the movies, then for dinner, then out dancing…and so on and so on and so on.


Four to five meetings later, it is evident that he’s hoping for more than just friendship. It is also evident, to me, at least, that there isn’t the chemistry required for him to move from being FRIEND to POTENTIAL BOYFRIEND or LOVER. In fact, the last time we went out for dinner, all the way home I dreaded that he might want to kiss me goodnight and I might be forced to jump out of the way and embarrass him. Thankfully it didn’t come to that, my body must have succeeded in saying “Keep at arms’ length, please.”


So…I feel like a heel. I’m not being straight and telling him that this is going nowhere, so please stop spending your time and money on me. On the other hand, says the cowardly part of me that’s copping out of being straight, he hasn’t come right out and said he would like to date.


I have considered a lot of ways to get the message to him, some really nasty e.g. get a fake boyfriend and parade him in his face. I know not what to do. No, correction, I do know what to do, but wouldn’t like to directly hurt his feelings by telling him what’s so.


I also feel that continuing to go out with him takes time away from being out with some other person who may have more potential in the chemistry department. There, I said it, The Ugly Truth.


What can I dooooooo?  Any bright ideas? Anyone? Heeeeelp?

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