Re-thinking my list

I previously put down all the qualities I want in a man. The things I thought were important. I have heard it said that having such a list magically attracts THAT very kind of man that you want. An acquaintance who had a similar list had listed down the minutest details, and she met THE man, who answered the very description. The catch? He was married. Single was not one of the attributes she had on her list.

I wonder if that is the same thing that has happened to me. I met a guy who seemed to have most of the qualities on my must have list, if not all, and most of what's on the nice to have list. I have known him for 12 weeks now. I know for sure that he is not the one. Reason? He does not have alpha maleness about him. By this I mean he does not exude the air of a sure-footed, proud man...one who is the director of his life, and will be a companion and the wise and undisputed head of the family that we shall have. It has struck me that this quality is not on my list at all. My original list is:

Must haves:
  1. Honest
  2. Responsible
  3. Kind
  4. Intelligent
  5. Likes children
  6. Good at what he does
Nice to have:
  1. Appreciates the arts - music, art, dance
  2. Likes to travel
  3. Is tall
  4. Likes to read
What I am now adding to the must-have list is:
7. Self-confident, independent, purposeful and proud
8. Alpha-male, protector of the family and the things he cares about
9. Good listener
10. Interesting and interested (interest in the world)
11. Successful and progressing, and lives a life that is well balanced (career, business, family, leisure)
12. Passionate about what he embarks upon
13. Widely-read, respectful, respectable and a leader
14. SINGLE

To the nice-to-have list I now add:
5. Is fit and healthy and takes care of his health
6. Is a lean 80 - 90kg
7. Is graceful in his movement (the graceful but powerful movement of a leopard comes to mind); a result of the self-confidence, pride and purpose
8. Makes me laugh
9. Values quality
10. Dresses remarkably well
11. Loves the outdoors
12. Would be content to be out in the wild, in a cabin, away from civilization for long periods without getting bored

So my lists have grown much longer, but I'm happy with them. I have learned the things that irk me with their absence.

It also seems a lot more superficial...can I add curly hair?

Comments

  1. |d®|September 9, 2010 at 11:48 PM

    Hope you find what you're looking for, though that list is quite ambitious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. mwasjdSeptember 10, 2010 at 3:28 PM

    You can add curly hair. Just makes it more likely that the probability of more than one guy meeting your criteria will be quite low. Pray that you find him...

    ReplyDelete

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